When I tell people that I am a certified end of life doula, most have not ever heard of one. And when I add that I am specializing in pediatrics, the responses are usually very similar: “How can you do that?” Or, “That must be so heartbreaking”. Or even, “It takes someone very special to do that”. For me, it’s not about being a special kind of person; it’s about what I have come to discover is my true purpose in life. It may have taken me many years to figure that out, as well as many life experiences, but when I finally came to that realization, I found some inner peace and joy! I spent 10 of my 37 years as a nurse taking care of children in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit. I loved working in that kind of environment, and I tell everyone I am a PICU nurse at heart. I took care of some of the sickest children, whether caused by trauma, or a chronic or acute illness. Those I could help get better brought me so much satisfaction, but I realized my most rewarding times were often found in death. I know, that sounds morbid. If I could just make the death of a child a little easier for a parent, or make the experience meaningful in some way, then I felt as if I had actually done something good during what must be the most difficult time in a parent’s life. To support a parent and give them choices about how they wanted to spend their last moments with their precious son or daughter, to be there as a shoulder to lean or cry on, to ensure their child was comfortable till the end, and to give them the time and space they needed to grieve in that moment…those are the things that felt right to me. So here I am, 9 years after stepping away from the PICU, coming back to doing what “feels right!” I can’t wait to get started!